Difference between revisions of "Frank Zappa on the Universal World Church"

From universalworldchurch.org
Jump to navigationJump to search
(Created page with "<blockquote>While I was working at the store, a black guy named Welton Featherstone came in, shopping for singles. We got to talking and he asked me if I'd ever been to church. I...")
 
Line 1: Line 1:
 
<blockquote>While I was working at the store, a black guy named Welton Featherstone came in, shopping for singles. We got to talking and he asked me if I'd ever been to church. I told him I'd been raised a Catholic, and he said , ''"No, I mean have you ever been to a real church?"''
 
<blockquote>While I was working at the store, a black guy named Welton Featherstone came in, shopping for singles. We got to talking and he asked me if I'd ever been to church. I told him I'd been raised a Catholic, and he said , ''"No, I mean have you ever been to a real church?"''
 
+
<br>
He told me about a place called the World Church, which happened to be right around the corner from where I lived. It was run by O. L. and Velma Jaggers, a husband-and-wite evangelical team. He said, "You won't believe it. Tonight's 'Baptism
+
He told me about a place called the World Church, which happened to be right around the corner from where I lived. It was run by O. L. and Velma Jaggers, a husband-and-wite evangelical team. He said, ''"You won't believe it. Tonight's <nowiki>'</nowiki>Baptism Night<nowiki>'--</nowiki>you gotta go down there and check it out."''
Night '-you gOlla go down IlIeTe awl d!uk il OUI. "
+
<br>
I had actually seen O. L Jaggers all TV once-he had a local
+
I had actually seen O. L. Jaggers on TV once--he had a local
'religious' program that ran for a short time. During the show I
+
<nowiki>'</nowiki>religious<nowiki>'</nowiki> program that ran for a short time. During the show I saw, he stood by a blackboard and drew diagrams as part of the <nowiki>'</nowiki>answer<nowiki>'</nowiki> to a letter he claimed to have received from a deeply troubled viewer. The letter requested a theological explanation of UFOs, and the reverend obliged with this answer:
saw. he stood by a blackboard and drew diagrams as part of the
+
:<br>''"Flying saucers are nothing more than cherubim and seraphim.
'answer' to a letter he claimed to have received from a deeply
+
Because of the great, speed at which they travel, their tiny bodies
troubled vil'wn. The letter requested a theological explanation
+
begin to glow when they come in contact with our atmosphere. "''
of UFOs, and the reverend obliged with this answer:
+
<br>So, I went to the World Church. It was a large Quonset hut near Temple and Alvarado. Instead of an altar it had a stage with flowers and fake gold knickknacks, displayed between an all white piano and an all-white organ.
"Flying SIIUfCrs lire nOlhing more Ihan chembim al1d seraphim.
+
<br>Over the stage was an enormous cardboard cutout of Jesus, posed like Superman in the takeoff position, projecting out, over the audience.
Buallse oflhe grea, speed al which tllt'Y travel, their liny bodies
+
<br>It was illuminated on either side by small clusters of red and blue lights-like the ones they use in the driveways of apartment houses called <nowiki>'</nowiki>Kon-Tiki.<nowiki>'</nowiki>
beg!/! /0 g/tlw wheu tlley (ome ill (O lUact willI our 1111/1(1-
+
<br>The congregation was poor--black, Filipino, Japanese and Mexican. They were subjected to three collections during the hour I was there.  
sphere. "
+
<br>The <nowiki>'</nowiki>baptism tank<nowiki>'</nowiki> stretched across the rear of the stage. It was a waist-high sort of aquarium-thing, filled with green water. The baptismal contestants wore white robes, Jaggers dunked each victim into the tank, dragging him (sort of by the scruff of the neck), with his head under water, the length of it. One guy couldn't hold his breath and came up gagging. It was pretty disgusting.
So, I went to the World Church, It was a large Quonset hut
+
<br>As I was about to leave, I heard him announce (into a handheld Neumann U-87), during the third collection, ''''Jesus just told me that you have another thousand dollars in your pockets."'' A bunch of people got out of their seats and marched down the aisle, like zombies, dishing up wads of cash. As their reward, he said, ''" I'm now going to rain dowl! the fire of tile Holy Ghost on you!"'' They put their fingertips up and started wiggling them, while Dr. Jaggers shouted: ''"Fire! Fire! Fire!"'' (into a crowded room).
ncar Temple and Alvarado. Instead of an altar it had a stage with
+
<br>The people responded by going, ''"Ooooo! Woooooo," as if it was '''really getting all over them'''. The organist played scary music and the red and blue lights flashed on the cardboard Jesus.
flowers and fake gold knickknacks, displayed between an allwhiTe
 
piano and an all-white organ.
 
Over the stage was an enormous cardboard cutout of Jesus,
 
posed like Superman in the takeoff position, projecting out,
 
over the audience.
 
It was illuminated on either side by small clusters of red and
 
blue lights-like the ones they usc in the driveways of apartment
 
houses called 'Kon-Tiki.'
 
The congregation was poor-black . Filipino, Japanese and
 
Mexican, They were subjected to three collections dllTing the
 
hour I was there.
 
The 'baptism tank' stretched across the rear of the stage. It
 
was a waist-high sort of aquarium-thing, filled with green
 
water. The baptismal contestants wore white robes, Jaggers
 
dunked each victim intO the tank. dragging him (sort of by thescruff of thl: neck). with his head under water, the length of it.
 
One guy couldn't hold his breath and came up gagging. It was
 
pretty disgusting.
 
As I was about to leave, I heard him announce (into a handheld
 
Neumann U-87), during the third collection, ''jesIHjllsttold
 
me tilat YOII have (J/wther thOllsand dol/ars in YOllr pockets." A bunch
 
of people got out of their seats and marchl:d down the aisle, like
 
zombil:s, dishing up wads of cash. As their reward, he said,
 
" I'm now going to rain dowl! the fire of tile Holy Ghost on YOII!"
 
They put their fmgertips up and started wiggling them, while
 
Dr. Jaggers shouted: "Fire! Fire! Firc!" (into a crowded room).
 
The people responded by going, "Ooooo! WOOOO()O," as if it
 
was really getting all over them, The organist played scary
 
music and the {cd and blue lights flashed on the cardboard Jesus.
 
 
</blockquote>
 
</blockquote>
  
From ''The real Frank Zappa book''{cite|http://books.google.com/books?id=FB0O_HCpBy0C&lpg=PA62&dq=zappa%20jaggers&pg=PA61#v=onepage&q&f=false}.
+
From '''The real Frank Zappa book'''{cite|http://books.google.com/books?id=FB0O_HCpBy0C&lpg=PA62&dq=zappa%20jaggers&pg=PA61#v=onepage&q&f=false}.

Revision as of 22:02, 16 March 2011

While I was working at the store, a black guy named Welton Featherstone came in, shopping for singles. We got to talking and he asked me if I'd ever been to church. I told him I'd been raised a Catholic, and he said , "No, I mean have you ever been to a real church?"


He told me about a place called the World Church, which happened to be right around the corner from where I lived. It was run by O. L. and Velma Jaggers, a husband-and-wite evangelical team. He said, "You won't believe it. Tonight's 'Baptism Night'--you gotta go down there and check it out."
I had actually seen O. L. Jaggers on TV once--he had a local 'religious' program that ran for a short time. During the show I saw, he stood by a blackboard and drew diagrams as part of the 'answer' to a letter he claimed to have received from a deeply troubled viewer. The letter requested a theological explanation of UFOs, and the reverend obliged with this answer:


"Flying saucers are nothing more than cherubim and seraphim.

Because of the great, speed at which they travel, their tiny bodies begin to glow when they come in contact with our atmosphere. "
So, I went to the World Church. It was a large Quonset hut near Temple and Alvarado. Instead of an altar it had a stage with flowers and fake gold knickknacks, displayed between an all white piano and an all-white organ.
Over the stage was an enormous cardboard cutout of Jesus, posed like Superman in the takeoff position, projecting out, over the audience.
It was illuminated on either side by small clusters of red and blue lights-like the ones they use in the driveways of apartment houses called 'Kon-Tiki.'
The congregation was poor--black, Filipino, Japanese and Mexican. They were subjected to three collections during the hour I was there.
The 'baptism tank' stretched across the rear of the stage. It was a waist-high sort of aquarium-thing, filled with green water. The baptismal contestants wore white robes, Jaggers dunked each victim into the tank, dragging him (sort of by the scruff of the neck), with his head under water, the length of it. One guy couldn't hold his breath and came up gagging. It was pretty disgusting.
As I was about to leave, I heard him announce (into a handheld Neumann U-87), during the third collection, ''Jesus just told me that you have another thousand dollars in your pockets." A bunch of people got out of their seats and marched down the aisle, like zombies, dishing up wads of cash. As their reward, he said, " I'm now going to rain dowl! the fire of tile Holy Ghost on you!" They put their fingertips up and started wiggling them, while Dr. Jaggers shouted: "Fire! Fire! Fire!" (into a crowded room).
The people responded by going, "Ooooo! Woooooo," as if it was really getting all over them. The organist played scary music and the red and blue lights flashed on the cardboard Jesus.

From The real Frank Zappa book{cite|http://books.google.com/books?id=FB0O_HCpBy0C&lpg=PA62&dq=zappa%20jaggers&pg=PA61#v=onepage&q&f=false}.